Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
