So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
