i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
