I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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