All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
