you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
