i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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