and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
