Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
