He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
