Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
