So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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