I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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