he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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