Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
