I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
