If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
