I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
