I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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