I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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