chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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