Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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