hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My bed smells like the plague
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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