So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
