so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
