have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
