Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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