there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
