dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
