just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
