Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize