You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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