hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
