And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
