idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
