just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
