You made me cry and you don't even care
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
