i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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