Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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