He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize