Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize