He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
