is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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