When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
