I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
