thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
