i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
