drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
