If i come over, it means nothing
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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