ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
