I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
