At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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