The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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