Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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