I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize