Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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