That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
