im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
