Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
