Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
me + whiskey = a bad person
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
