I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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