She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
